1. “Ken” Don’t get too excited. Ken just prattles on for 40 minutes about how his boyfriend probably won’t ever leave his fucking wife. Then he cries a little, asks for a hug (which goes on for WAY too long), and finally, hands you some Costco fish sticks and a handwritten invoice. No, I don’t regret it, but, no, I probably wouldn’t do it again. I dunno. We’ll see.

    “Ken”

    Don’t get too excited.

    Ken just prattles on for 40 minutes about how his boyfriend probably won’t ever leave his fucking wife.

    Then he cries a little, asks for a hug (which goes on for WAY too long), and finally, hands you some Costco fish sticks and a handwritten invoice.

    No, I don’t regret it, but, no, I probably wouldn’t do it again.

    I dunno. We’ll see.

And, then, you were all...

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