1. Maybe if Michael DeBakey had helped our President lie instead of saving thousands of lives with his 75-year career of fucking tireless brilliance, hard work, and ingenuity, CNN might have seen clear to give him the top spot today. Sorry, Mike, but no dice. But you’re definitely a strong second. Y’know, Doc, maybe, instead of dicking around helping to reinvent our modern understanding of heart disease, cancer, and smoking risk, you should have learned to play “blues flute.” Also, what was with all that education, health policy junk, and surgical procedure shit? Seriously. Get a room, dude. Anyhow. Tony Snow was on TV a lot and had a million-dollar smile. So. You know. Whatever. Sorry, I’m not usually the corpse-desecrating type. But my monthly capacity for overstated conservative obits maxed out on Jesse Helms.

    Maybe if Michael DeBakey had helped our President lie instead of saving thousands of lives with his 75-year career of fucking tireless brilliance, hard work, and ingenuity, CNN might have seen clear to give him the top spot today.

    Sorry, Mike, but no dice. But you’re definitely a strong second.

    Y’know, Doc, maybe, instead of dicking around helping to reinvent our modern understanding of heart disease, cancer, and smoking risk, you should have learned to play “blues flute.” Also, what was with all that education, health policy junk, and surgical procedure shit? Seriously. Get a room, dude.

    Anyhow. Tony Snow was on TV a lot and had a million-dollar smile. So. You know. Whatever.

    Sorry, I’m not usually the corpse-desecrating type. But my monthly capacity for overstated conservative obits maxed out on Jesse Helms.

And, then, you were all...

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