Because, it’s really important to have goals. If whatever the fuck these things are made me feel the slightest twinge of enhanced self-esteem, my next merit badge would feature a silhouette of a sad guy with a revolver in his mouth. Sponsored, perhaps, by the Smith & Wesson® “Unlock Your Xtreme!™” Social Networking Gunmunity. Man. It’s just so excruciating to me to imagine what your life must be like when a 160-pixel .PNG sponsored by a company that manufactures pens feels like a win. In fact, it’s so excruciating that I’m never going think about it again. Do I get a badge for that?
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Because, it’s really important to have goals.

If whatever the fuck these things are made me feel the slightest twinge of enhanced self-esteem, my next merit badge would feature a silhouette of a sad guy with a revolver in his mouth.

Sponsored, perhaps, by the Smith & Wesson® “Unlock Your Xtreme!™” Social Networking Gunmunity.

Man. It’s just so excruciating to me to imagine what your life must be like when a 160-pixel .PNG sponsored by a company that manufactures pens feels like a win.

In fact, it’s so excruciating that I’m never going think about it again.

Do I get a badge for that?