kung fu grippe

  1. My New Minimalist iOS Weather App

Coming soon to the App Store.

Only $3.99.

    My New Minimalist iOS Weather App

    Coming soon to the App Store.

    Only $3.99.

  2. More Songs About Climate and Trolls

    Trollech - Ve Stinu Starych Dubu

    Via its inclusion in The 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Videos, this is currently my favorite thing in the world. And, yes, I seriously seriously love those improbably melodic, shred-tastic “choruses.”1

    But, what is “Ve Stinu Starych Dubu” about? What is the message? Why are these men playing unplugged guitars while standing knee-deep in a brackish Czech creek? And, perhaps most saliently: Why is Lord Morbivod having such a terrible time staying hidden behind his pile of leaves?

    These are some of the very questions that I have been asking. So, permit me to share the fruits of my own research on these matters:


    This album’s genre has been labelled as “forest pagan black metal”. The lyrics throughout are in Czech and apparently follow set themes revolving around forests, trees, castles, trolls, dwarfs, weather (thunderstorms, rain) and other natural entities in the mystical realm of Trollech, of which the musicians act as guardians.

    So, there you go.

    Asura Godwar Gorgon Ray – the sad man-panda whose rock band makes music videos in the woods behind their Mom’s house whenever they’re not actively guarding the community that’s their namesake – covers himself with leaves and makes those grunty noises because of dwarves, castles, and weather.

    See? It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?

    Because, admit it: everybody enjoys castles, despises dwarves, and occasionally gets frustrated with the unfathomable ubiquity of weather.

    You are welcome.

    1. Although, candidly, I suspect Trollech might be disappointed to hear how much their song’s structure, velocity, and ferocious delivery remind me favorably of 1993’s equally shredding Black Metal masterpiece, “Make-Out Club.”